ARE YOUR FRIENDS KEEPING YOU FAT?

Are your friends keeping you fat?

This is a very serious question to ask yourself when you are working towards discovering the weight you were born to be. One of my clients was recently telling me about some of her friends who pass very negative comments when she looses weight. In the coaching session we discussed how and why these people act this way.

The reality is that when you make changes to your life, weight and size some people are not happy about it. Sadly, there are those who are jealous. Then there are those who are frightened that they may lose their relationship with you when you change, because others may find you attractive.

My client was astounded at the comment passed by her friend when she challenged the negativity. Her friend said "Well there has to be someone in the group who is fat so that we can feel good about ourselves!"

It is so easy to let this type of person throw us straight back into our comfort eating to bury the very understandable emotions experienced by such a comment. That's the whole point of such a statement. It is subtally manipulative, especially as it is human nature to want to fit or be loved. However, by holding our personal power, challenging such negativity and continuing on our loving pathway to change, we may risk losing friendships and even loved ones.

Self-love is not just about making positive changes in what we chose to eat, it is also about loving ourselves enough to challenge hurtful and negative behavious that impact on us. I was so proud of my client because she held her personal power and told her friend that she really did not like what she had said. By doing this it opened up the opportunity for the other person to learn about being kind, loving and supportive.

This is what I call a 'wake up call' as it offers the other person a chance to understand you from a place of love, not jealousy or fear. It helps them understand that you are serious about your self-loving changes and offers you an opportunity to assess if the relationship is a sound and loving one. By doing this you see the person behind the mask.

When we begin to love ourselves deeply we attract into our lives those people who are also able to love us as we deserve. This may mean that we need to move away from those who do not learn anything from our appropriate challenges to their negativity. Alternatively, we may need to work hard at relationships, we do not want to lose. This is done by lovingly dispelling their fears of losing us.

The great thing about creating an amazing love affair with ourselves is the pathway of learning that is opened up to us.

Enjoy developing your love.